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Gig guide: February

Valentine’s Day is around the corner. God help us all.

V-Day options

If you’re loaded enough to take your better half on a super larnie kak expensive date, here’s something for you: A five-star sailing experience on-board Mirage, South Africa’s luxurious private charter yacht. Entertainment includes a live dinner theatre musical adventure featuring three “nauti-gals” who present a feast for the eyes as they share their tales through song. Dancing on a massive ship with a delicious three-course dinner does seem like an exceptional experience for a fee of – wait for it – R1950 per couple. Would it help you to know that this includes a gin-tasting? No? Well please be advised this is obviously very exclusive and tickets are available here. So if you’re a baller, take your full wallet down to the V&A Waterfront on 14 Feb and board the yacht at 6:30 for your three hour cruise.

Back to reality now, on Saturday the 12th of February, there’s a Valentines Market at Mountain Manor Guest House on Breda street in Gardens. It’s a daytime event and the perfect opportunity to shop for your Valentine’s gift as the vendors sell jewelry, roses and other marital aids. Entry is free.

Alternatively, another Valentine’s Day idea is a partner’s cooking class. A more affordable quirky date night at Stir Crazy Cooking School. A departure from your average V-Day dinner, this couples’ evening presents a dining experience where you can spoil each other’s taste buds, learn some culinary skills, and prepare a dish (starter, main and dessert) of your choosing with your beloved – with the assistance of professional chefs. After which you can enjoy your beautifully plated dinner at your own table and try it all again when you get home – or whatever you wanna do when you get home. Beware, it is not cheap.

Tantric sex, anyone? Kidding but not really. Tantric Intelligence is a workshop that’s all about your pleasure, happening on V-day evening at Massage on Main, 4 Loop Street. It’s for couples who want to delve into the alluring art of couples tantra, learn new sensual skills and bring you and your partner closer. Sexy, playful, intriguing – educational even. Not for prudes. Your intro into deep tantric sensual massage starts here at R750 per person including bubbles, snacks and live demonstrations. There are only 10 spaces available.

First Thursdays

Laugh Yo’ Mask Off! (but like no really, please keep it on) happens on the third of Feb at the Kloof Street Hotel. Four top-tier stand-up comedians are here to dazzle you while you stuff your face with great food and drinks specials. The talent includes Cape Town’s heavyweight comedy champion KG Mokgadi; Carl Weber – blessed with a bles and ready to impress; the one and only Rob Van Vuuren, as well as Francois Van As – the funnier version of Kurt Darren but with lower self-esteem. Tickets are available on Webtickets.

Xylem and Mødular, the boutique nightclub on Riebeek Street, offers a night for the jollers on 3 February from 10PM til late. Their claim to fame is an elite line-up of House and Techno artists. COVID-19 protocols include proof of COVID-19 vaccination or a negative COVID-19 test result. Rapid Testing is also available at the door for R120 per test with a 10 min waiting time. This is mandatory for entry. Let it also be known they have zero-tolerance for racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism and ageism. Offenders will be thrown out, so no kak on the dancefloor.

Spaces between us is a very different scene happening that same night from 6PM at Alliance Française du Cap. This art exhibition showcases three distinct bodies of work connected by “the painter’s imperative”. It conveys the dichotomy between fantasy and reality; participation and observation. Artists on display include Alexia Smit, Yoram Shabat and Riana Gear. Entrance is free and there’s a cash bar.

The Road Closure is back with the Upper Bree Street Market from 5PM on 3 Feb, so you can take it to the streets with the whole family. The street vendor market includes art exhibitions, food trucks, a main stage with major South African artists, a gin train and street bars. This is a peak Summer time treat and there’s something for everyone. Limited tickets are R150 each – no door sales.

Ubuntu – I am because we are is an exhibition and live music event by Tony Luza at Ground Art Caffe. This exhibition will run from the beginning of February until April, so there’s time. The artist produces mixed media artworks and performs acoustic guitar tunes while you enjoy complimentary wine and canapés. The African philosophy of Ubuntu is explored as a need for compassion and humanity, togetherness and community. Tony Luza is a multi-disciplined artist from the DRC whose work focuses on Expressionism and performance art. “I love finishing the continuity of my painting by music,” says the award-winning artist.

Drag and theatre

Canadian Queen Brooke Lynn Hytes from RuPaul’s Drag Race will be Live in Cape Town at DragCon on Saturday evening, 5 February. Taking the stage at the upmarket boutique lounge District on Harringtons, a ticket also gets you into the littest of afterparties. Bringing you all the drag realness you need, she’ll be accompanied by South Africa’s hottest drag talent including the magnificent Manila Von Teez, Ina Propriette, Edo Mostert and Mcenzlee Kash. Tickets are available at and they range from R350- R580 for VIP access complete with a meet-and-greet.

A brand new play has emerged despite the deathblow to theatre in the pandemic. It’s called Clouds like Waves and runs from 2 February for a limited 5 performances at Theatre Arts in Observatory. Megan Choritz’s original play is about the transience of unresolved emotion – of loss, family, love, age, death and connection. With scenes and monologues dissipating like clouds and morphing like waves, it’s the kind of play that’s dynamic enough to be played by two actors or twenty. Tickets are R120 on

Beefcakes on Somerset Road is always here for you. On the 11th and 12th of February, they’ll be hosting a Self Love Fest. This fabulous Valentines show will feature the wonders of Mary Scary, Maxine Wild and Ina Propriette on respective night. Book at for your night of cocktails, drag, and topless waiters with otherworldly torsos.

Cape Town Pride 2022 takes place on 26 February and is only R50 for a ticket at Hosted by OUTReach Africa, Pride provides a platform for Cape Town’s LGBTI+ community (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, questioning, intersex, non-binary, asexual, polysexual, genderqueer and gender variant people) to raise awareness, create visibility and celebrate in style with a Parade through the heart of the CBD. It’s a full day of local and international artists, paying homage and queer pride revelry.

Dance, yoga, esoteric

The Sun-Kissed Salsa Summer Series will get you grooving on the 6th of February from 3:30 at the Sea Point Pavillion. It’s an open-air Afro-Latin dance explosion with a divine view. This happens every second Sunday in Summer with DJs that will keep your hips moving. Free entry for this sultry dance floor.

A Full Moon Sacred Cacao Ceremony. Yes, if you’re feeling called to connect cosmically, manifest healing and harness the pure energy of the full moon, this one’s for you. Rituals will include smudging; Cacao invocation; intention setting; ceremonial Cacao receiving, cleansing and drinking; Full Moon energy connection; breathwork, guided meditation and journaling reflection. The phenomenon will take place on Wednesday 16 February from 7:30PM at Llandudno Beach at R444 per person. Email to book as spots are limited to only 9 people.

Lastly, the Acro Yoga Workshop will take you through the fundamentals of AcroYoga and introduce you to basic poses and flows. It’s aimed at all levels, from absolute beginners to advanced Acro yogis. 15 people max so book in advance at, it’s R380 per person on 12 February.